Don't tell anyone this, but when I was a child, I used to watch "The Little Mermaid" four times a day. On Betamax. I know every line ever said. I know every song. And every hidden Mickey. I bought the merchandise. The Little Mermaid Barbie doll. The stuffed toy flounder. The rubber Sebastian. I still have The Little Mermaid comforter and bed sheets. I use them occasionally, when no one's looking, and secretly pretend I'm swimming with dolphins.

When my friends came over, I'd make them watch with me too. I'd slap them stupid if they said they didn't want to watch the movie again. I'd make them wait till our little silver Betamax machine stopped whirring and whining so I could play the whole thing again. Hanna ended up hating mermaids. And she'd flip out when she'd see yellow and blue-striped fat fish.

But look, 12 years later, and looky here, I still love it. And seeing this, I just loved it more.